Insights on English – Age 2.75

OK, when I signed on to be a mom, I did not realize I would be getting a crash course in just how unreasonable and illogical American English is.

WST is clearly working out the grammar and pronunciation ‘rules’ for her native language – and she wants us to follow them too.

WST – “I sleeped all by myself in my own bed.”  Me –  “Yes, you slept in your own bed.” WST – “Sleeped. ”  “Yes, you SLEPT in your own bed.” “No, No mommy, not slept – SLEEPED. SLEEPED!” (Clearly I am a total dim bulb.)

We’re having this trouble with all irregular past words – goed vs went, bited/bit, doed/did, blowed/blew, breaked/broke, catched/caught, dig/dug, etc. (Gosh there are a lot – see more.)

We’re also having trouble with plurals – everything gets an S – foots, mouses, mooses, gooses, childs, knifes, etc.

And this, of course, was inevitable:

WST – “Those are yours and these are mines.”  Me – “Mine” WST – “NO – MINES.”  Me- “You say mine – not mines. WST – Noooooooo! These are MINES – not Yours!”

So – in sympathy for my daughter struggling to be understood, I hereby declare “The English langauge is stupid!”

Now – on to learn to identify the letters of the alphabet and all their sounds…HA!

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Story Journal #1

It has begun.

Wonderful, amazing, fascinating concepts and stories made up by/with my child. Not just snippets or insights, but pure imagination.

I though I’d try to record some in this blog, starting with last nights’ gems, during our rides to and from the used book store.

WST – “It’s  rocket ship mommy, let’s blast off!”

OLM – “4, 3, 2, 1 – blast off! Where are we going?”

WST – “I don’t know – it’s dark.” (broad daylight out)

OLM – “How about we go to Saturn? Explore the rings of Saturn?” (WST nods) “Will we see aliens there? What will they look like? What color? How many arms?”

WST – “Two arms, and eight legs. They have two eyes and one nose. Two heads.”

OLM  – “How many toes? What color is the alien?”

WST – “Three toes.  Green – like a snake.”

OLM – “Wow, 8 legs and three toes each – that’s a lot of toes! 24!

(Cut off by arrival at bookstore – 45 minute trip inside the book store later)

WST – “Blast off mommy!”

OLM – “Oh, um, right…4, 3, 2, 1, Blast off!”

WST – “There weren’t any aliens mommy. No Aliens.”

OLM – “Oh, hmmm…no, there were no aliens there. Um, no aliens on Saturn. Well, where else would we find aliens? Where should we go?  Mars? Jupiter? Pluto?”

WST – “PLUTO! Let’s go to Pluto mommy!”

OLM – “Brr it’s cold on Pluto – do you have mittens for cold Pluto?”

WST – (mimes putting on mittens) “And a hat, brrr cold.” (mimes putting on hat)

OLM – “It’s cold on Pluto – what will we see there in the cold?”

WST – “SNOW! Oh, I need to take my shoes off” (takes off velcro-strap shoes) “I need boots for snow.” (mimes putting boots on)

OLM – “Don’t take your shoes…oh…um…What will you do on Pluto?”

WST – “Build a snow man and play – Oh! I forgot a jacket.” (mimes putting jacket on) “What will YOU do mommy?”

OLM – ” I will look back at the earth and see how tiny it is.  I will dig a big hole in the snow…”

WST – “to catch the aliens…”

OLM – “Um hmm…what do the aliens look like on cold Pluto? What color – in the snow like on Pluto?”

WST – “Green – and furry – like Elmo.”

OLM – “Curly fur all over like Elmo? Only green?”

WST – “Nooooo, fur like [friend with curly blond hair at school]. And the aliens are afraid.”

OLM – “Oh, what are the aliens afraid of?”

WST – sotto voce “Monsters!”

OLM – “Monsters!  What do the monsters look like?”

WST – ” Black.  And scary.  Green. Black and Green and scary teeth.”

and then we were distracted by home approaching – which is sad, because I wanted to know what happened next…

The Mom With 1000 Faces

So this morning I was 3 entities: “Mommy!” and “Wheezie?” (from Dragon Tales), and “The Man in the Yellow Hat.” Today was the first time being TMITYH – but WST wanted to be Curious George, so I got to be his color-obsessed keeper/friend.

In the past few weeks, I have been, that I can recall:

  • DaddyO, DaddyN, WST herself;
  • The Big Pig, The Big Wolf,  a princess, a ‘mommy princess,’ and a scary monster; 
  • a Dragon mommy, Astrid and Toothless (from How to Train Your Dragon); 
  • Grover (and Grover’s mommy), the Count, Elmo, Zoe, Big Bird, Snuffy, and Cookie Monster;
  • Caillou’s mommy, Rosie, Caillou, and Gilbert;
  • Zack (until it was realized I was a girl – then Wheezie), Emmy, Ord, and Cassie’s mommy;
  • and most recently – Katy’s Mommy AND Lou at the same time (from the Library book Katy Did It).

And that’s the ones I can recall off the top of my head. I have learned to answer to almost anything, and to change personas at  breakneck speed.  “You be the big pig and I’ll be the little pig, and … no, you be the big wolf and I’ll be the little wolf… and we’re BOTH nice wolfs…”

I had a very rich fantasy life as a childand I’ve always been someone who imagines “what if” even today as an adult. I find these activities fun and fascinating, if occasionally a little bewlidering or challenging…

What do parents without this kind of background do? How do they cope?  And what do you do if you are a kid without parents willing to put on a new persona every 5-10 seconds? With parents who can’t or won’t pretend…?

How do you spell M&Ms?

So we discovered recently that you can’t effectively “spell”  M&Ms over the head of a perceptive toddler.   “Later she can have some E-M E-Ms” lead directly to: “I like M&Ms – can I have some M&Ms?”

We’ve started saying “middle-of-the-alphabets” instead.

“Wait – Max & Emmy are coming too!”

Imaginary friends have arrived. Monday I had to load two imaginary friends in the van, get them buckled, take them to school with WST, open doors for them and explain them to the daycare teacher.

In the past week, WST has been more and more “talking to mid-air.” We’ve even been asked to feed her imaginary friends.  What was striking about this was how fast it happened. One day imaginary play required a prop of some sort.  The next she could eat “imaginary food.” A week later, we all became characters from “Dragon Tales.” A week later, imaginary friends. Wow.

And I had just been wondering when imaginary frieds started – I had a whole imaginary FAMILY I hung out with as a kid – for at least 3-5 years that I remember. And I can only remember from about 4 yrs old on…